Welcome to Tony Richards Messages

29 Application Pt4

Welcome to this week’s message on leadership, self-confidence, and how to feel good about yourself everyday as you interact with people, in safety and comfort, at home and work.

Last week’s message was all about setting easy goals for yourself, so you can feel the benefits of taking small but positive steps that reinforce your focus on how important YOU are.
If you wish to be reminded of that message, it is available back on the message page.

This week’s message is about Critical Step 5. Application.
It is the fun step that allows you to display, and share, the positive view you have of yourself, and everyone else in this world, who will want to share your world with you.

If you have successfully navigated the Five Critical Steps you will be reading your Vision Statement daily and living the principles it contains. Don’t concern yourself if you are just getting a weekly message, as a new subscriber, as we are returning to the start of the process in the next couple of weeks with many new messages.

Applying the knowledge you have about your value can be a most exciting exercise. It is unlikely, if you have completed the Five Critical Steps comfortably, that others can make you feel uncomfortable with yourself.

“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent”.
(Eleanor Roosevelt, 1884-1962).

One of the best ways to display your knowledge of yourself is by sharing your values, through the exercising of your Principles, when dealing with others. You should be living the principles in your Vision Statement.

There are two really positive parts to the process of sharing values.
The first one, above, demonstrates that you are a person of character. That you can be trusted, respected, and relied upon with your word and subsequent actions. These are the three principles that define self-confidence.
Others will be attracted to the person you have become and portray.

The second part displays a real interest in others that allows you to share your time, as it promotes interaction at the same time. Both parts have a really positive effect on you, and that is what makes the fifth Critical Step so much fun.

The second positive part is an action; it is what I like to call the ‘coffee stop’.
Two important points here.

1. Some of the principles you were born with, such as sharing, caring and consideration will be exercised through this, and the first step above, and
2. You will spend time with others, and this will assist them to see your real value as you discover their wonderful value at the same time.

One line in my own Vision Statement says, ‘Nurture relationships. They are your only treasure’.
So I eagerly look forward to this practise every week.

The ‘coffee stop’ is performed by saying to someone, “part of my own personal development programme is to learn the art of listening to others. Let me invite you for coffee and listen to whatever you want to talk about for ten minutes. When are you available?”

During that time you may need to ask just a couple of questions to prompt them to start, or continue, but you should avoid saying very much at all.

Not saying anything can be so hard, (particularly for a chatter box like me) but it is amazingly interesting just to listen to others talk about themselves and their interests.

Even those you may have thought dull or uninteresting can display insights to their individuality that will leave you pleasantly surprised.

I have NEVER listened to someone talk for ten or fifteen minutes about their interests and not been fascinated by their story.

Listening is a magnificent skill to practise, and just how good to you think the other person feels when you show a real interest in them by listening to their story?
I’ve done this with strangers, others I wouldn’t normally spend any time with, and with close friends. I’ve loved every minute of it.

And surprisingly I’ve never had anyone say no to the opportunity to talk. Even strangers I’ve spoken to in shopping centres. So please don’t be the first to say ‘no’ if I approach you!

Take the opportunity this week to exercise Critical Step 5 (Application) and apply the wonderful knowledge you have of yourself by sharing it with others. You will not be disappointed with the ‘coffee stop’, (okay, make it a juice stop) and you can look forward to an irresistible good time.

Please email me on how you went with your coffee or juice stop, and how good you felt as a result of your action. Yes, even if you felt ‘that was an uncomfortable experience’, we would still like to hear about it. You can remain anonymous if the experience wasn’t positive, but it may provide the rest of us with a little comedy relief that could enrich our daily lives.

Your stories – even short comments – are of great value to inspire others, and I would like to take the opportunity to include your stories, or comments, in upcoming episodes of ‘Special Interest Items’. They will be included as they fit into the theme of the message for that week.

Do you know anyone you can help with leadership issues, or just feeling good about themselves? Forward this message to friends and work colleagues; print it out and place it on notice boards, and give copies to those without computer access. Printing out, and compiling each weekly message in a folder, is a good way to build a total knowledge of self-confidence and leadership. It will provide certainty in dealing with every aspect of your life.

Next week’s message is a Special Interest message in response to an often asked question. It will be followed in coming weeks by the Cycle for Confidence and Leadership and how it impacts your life. It will then, in turn, be followed by messages on the Five Critical Steps.

Until then, please continue to see yourself as a unique and remarkable person, who deserves to feel good about yourself every day.

Tony Richards.

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